Never Let Me Fall

She let go of him, and sat up next to him, just to look away from him.
"He never loved me... he never even cared for me as a friend..." she said softly.
"And still he... he just... urgh," she said and shook her head, not wanting to admit what she had given up to him, not just once, but twice. That, and all the tears, all the money, all the time she wasted on him. All the charming smiles and friendly words just to find out it was all a lie... he had never meant any of it...

He looked at her, exhaling slowly. "Well when did he seem to start changing towards you?" He took her hand in a comforting gesture as he gazed up at the ceiling. "I don't see why he wouldn't care for you as a friend..."

"He just wanted my money..." she mumbled quietly, wiping away a few tears, and pulling some stray hairs behind her ear.

Shang frowned. The flaw of being rich. Not knowing if someone's love for you is true.
"It would've been better if he had just kidnapped and held you for ransom than trick you and break your heart like this." He kissed her hand and hugged her. "I'm sorry he hurt you, Charlotte."

"It's ok," she smiled, but the tears wouldn't stop.
"Some day I will find someone who is as kind and perfect as you are, who will love me..."
She wasn't sure if she was trying to convince him or herself, but the latter wasn't exactly working.
"Thank you," she said softly and smiled at him.
Thank you for everything.

"You welcome but I-I'm anything but perfect, Charlotte." Shang flushed and looked down in shame. "I'm actually quite judgemental AND picky! I know I am."
He hugged her tighter and laughed. "But I know you will find someone especially when you come back home with me."

She looked at him while raising an eyebrow, almost forgetting to cry at this point.
"I would say after everything that can be considered a flaw in a human being, judgmental and picky isn't really on top of the list," she laughed. She couldn't care less if he was judgmental and picky, she knew she had far greater flaws herself.
"And only if you have a single brother," she laughed.

Shang laughed, "Well I guess I can agree with you there. I just thought you should know for future reference." He nudged her smiling but when she mentioned a brother, he froze.
"I..." He frowned and closed up with an obvious emotional shift. He all but hugged himself in a depression, he hadn't felt in a while.

"What's wrong?" she asked quickly once she realized he didn't look so good.
"Did I... Did I say something wrong?" she said hesitantly. She really hadn't meant to upset him or anything, but she couldn't see what she could have said that could possibly upset him this much.

"No you didn't. It's just... I... Had a brother. He died about 9 months ago..." He pulled in one of his legs and rested his forehead on his knee. "He died without bringing honour to his family and if he had known that, when he was alive, I know it would've killed him all over again. His death is not an easy one to recover from for many reasons..."

"Oh," she said.
She was horrible at this. She had never experienced loosing a loved one like that, so she could not sympathize with him or know what he was going through. On the other hand, she was horribly horrible at trying to comfort people.
She put her hand on his shoulder, taking his hand with her free hand.
"I'm sorry," she said softly. She really was. Sorry she couldn't do anything more to cheer him up.

He turned his head to stare at her, while still resting it on his knee.
He squeezed her hand and continued to stare as if debating with himself on how much he should tell her.
"I'm only in the army because of him. I told my parents he inspired me to join but really, if he hadn't died, I would've continued my education to becoming a medical doctor."

That was a bit surreal for her. In her mind a soldier and a doctor were two complete opposites. She would admit though, a doctor would definitively suit his personality better.
On the other hand she simply didn't understand it. Why would a family death make you turn yourself into the army? It would be devastating of course, she understood that much, but she didn't see what a change of profession had to do with grieving over someone else.
She debated asking him, but wasn't sure if that would be rude or not. Eventually she figured she didn't have much else to say to him in either case, so she went ahead and asked him anyway.
"Why did you join the army then...?" she asked confused, but soft, scared of upsetting him or being rude.

[ooc: WARNING! Long post! ]

"Would you believe me if I said it was to bring honor to my family?" Shang chuckled. He didn't think she would. So he decided to explain more in detail.

"That morning on the day he died... We had an argument. He was always pressing me about honor and how its a big deal to our parents that each of us, their children, upheld the Chinese tradition of bringing honor to the family for our ancestors to be proud of and bless us." He looked to Charlotte wondering if he lost her yet. He smiled and continued.

"When my brother left this world, he wasn't able to bring honor. That bothered me because I know if he knew that, he would've died all over again. But there was another reason it bothered me. When a soldier dies fighting, they automatically die with honor. But my brother, didn't... So I joined the army to bring the honor he couldn't bring and it wasn't long, before I found out he betrayed China. He sold out one of the training camps to our enemy. He helped kill over 150 new recruits and comrades."

Shang leaned back and sighed. "It's not the brother I knew. It couldn't have been. And my parents... don't even know that bit."

There was another reason Shang joined the army. One that nobody, not even Mulan knew. Medical school was expensive and the only way Shang was able to attend was from the financial benefits the army provided when his brother was in service. When he died, however, Shang knew he wouldn't be able to continue without seeing his parents struggle greatly and he was thinking of quitting anyways. Medical school was hard.

[ooc: Did I mention it's sad?]

[OOC: Aawwww!]

Charlotte stayed quiet while he spoke, just listening to him.
It was a horrible story, and though she had no idea what he must be going through, or what it felt like to be in his position, she still felt extremely bad for him.
"If it makes you feel better," she said softly and pulled a stray hair of his behind his ear.
"I think your family has all the reason in the world to be proud of you," she said and smiled softly at him, hoping she could help just the tiniest, even if she felt stupid and useless in this situation.

"If it makes you feel better, I think your family has all the reason in the world to be proud of you."

[ooc: D'awww! That dialogue was just worth repeating! xD]

Shang looked at Charlotte and blushed a little, smiling. "I don't think you know how much that means for me to hear that."
He hugged her. "Thank you, Charlotte."

[OOC: Glad you like it ]

She hugged him back, tightly, glad she could help him a little.
She smiled at him and squeezed his hand, not sure about what to say next.
"I'm just glad I could help," she said honestly.
As she noticed him blush she couldn't help but blush herself and giggle.
He just wasn't the person she expected to blush like that all of a sudden. Still, it was cute on him.